May 2010 CWM Interview
Hello everyone. We are counting down the days
till the end of school. I’m amazed another
school year has gone by. My babies are growing
up. We have many new CWMs to our community. Welcome!
You will only find support and encouragement here.
Check on the links to the right to find ways you
can be involved.
Do you wonder if you are the only CWM that feels
the way you do? Then, check out my book The Voices
of Christian Working Moms. Over 2,100 women answered
a survey and you will find the results in the
book. You can buy the book by clicking on Voices
button on the right. We continue to receive surveys
by CWMs and are probably over 2300 by now.
We have a very special person being interviewed
this month (all of you are dear sisters in Christ).
The interview this month is by my sister, who
is younger than me, but has been parenting longer
than me. She is my best friend and truly has a
lot of wisdom to share. I appreciate Karen taking
time out of her busy schedule, since her youngest
is graduating from high school the day after your
receive this interview.
Karen is a married 44 year old CWM who lives
in the United States. She has two daughters ages
22 and 18. Karen is a Senior Operations Manager
at Fidelity Investments.
Karen shares the following joys of being a CWM:
Now that I’m almost through with active
parenting and can rest and look back, I LOVED
being a Mom. No, I didn’t get to be the
Class Room Mother or up at school every day, but
I did my share of field trips! I have asked myself,
are my kids different because I was a working
Mom? Absolutely. But worse? No, not at all. My
girls are very independent and I have been able
to share a work perspective that other Mothers
have not been able to. I am thrilled for stay-at-home
Moms and I encourage them to keep active and growing
personally, their kids will leave some day. I
am thrilled with Christian working Moms –
you have two jobs and that can be very hard at
times. If I had to do it all over and had no constraints,
what would I have changed? I would have stayed
home with them until school age and then gone
back to work. Do I think they would have turned
out any better? No, they are pretty great already.
I would have done it for selfish reasons –
for me. The biggest lesson I have learned is that
we serve a Sovereign God who limits, orders, controls
and knows all things (yes, He has a LOCK on your
life!). My children are an amazing blessing –
not because I worked, not because I was a Super
Mom and could do it all – all because of
Him. And that makes it all okay. Stay-at-home
Moms must say the same thing. Our kids grow up
well in spite of us. And sometimes they grow up,
not following the Lord, and that’s not due
to us either. Of course, we must give them every
opportunity to draw near to the Lord, by teaching
them as we come and go and by taking them to church
regularly, but the rest is left up to God. Working
or not working has nothing to do with it –
so relax ladies and enjoy the journey…….the
ride stops far sooner than you can possibly imagine.
List the struggles of being a Christian Working
Mom: First, the word that keeps screaming in my
mind is TIME!!!! There simply isn’t enough
of it. When the girls were little, I felt so torn
and divided. When I was at work, I didn’t
feel like I was 100% because of things on my mind
about home…….and when I was home,
I struggled with shaking off all the responsibilities
left at work. I promise you….this gets better
as they get older….and you will get better
at managing it. You must get help to manage your
household responsibilities – it can simply
be too much. It doesn’t have to be a paid
housecleaner – engage your family. It’s
good for them too! The Bible is clear that we
are the managers of the home – it doesn’t
say we have to DO everything ourselves. The whole
family will benefit from sharing in the care of
the home. Cut yourself some slack – so you
go to bed with dishes in the sink, does it really
matter? You only cook a “good” meal
on the weekends – that’s okay too.
Find a way to manage your time well. Secondly,
live life with no regrets. The honest truth and
we all know this, working Moms miss things. We
don’t get to attend every single event and
that’s okay too. Hearing what happened from
their perspective is a good thing, rather than
not really asking since you were there. Yes, sometimes
it’s sad…..but don’t carry a
bag on your back with all the regrets and every
time you have a new one, open the sack to review
them all and add the new one. Your perspective
on being a working Mom will influence your children’s
perspective on you being a working Mom. We can
find Christian contentment in every circumstance
– including being a working Mom. A good
definition – Christian contentment is that
sweet, inward, quiet, gracious frame of spirit
which freely submits to and delights in God’s
wise and loving control of every circumstance.
Remember the mall signs with the red dots that
say, “You are here”? Well, accept
your red dot moment for what it is and watch God
work amazing things through your acceptance.
Favorite Bible Verse: There are many but one
I think is appropriate to remember here. “Come
to Me, all who are weak and heavy laden and I
will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and
learn from me for I am gentle and lowly in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.”
What is God teaching you right now? I spent the
last year really learning and embracing God’s
sovereignty. I can say I get it now!! And it’s
SO liberating. Yes, I am a recovering type A individual.
Now, I am working on grace and the fact that I
was chosen and had nothing to do with it at all.
Anything else you would like to share: How much
time do you have? For those Mothers with young
children, my heart goes out to you. I remember
the weariness and guilt. I remember wrestling
with my situation and desperately trying to find
a way out, thinking that would satisfy the ache
in my heart. Now, I’m almost to the end
and wow – this is hard! My baby graduates
this month. No doubt many tears to come over the
next couple of months. Please hear me. Let go.
Resolve to be content in whatever circumstance
you are in now and let God take care of the rest.
Please give it to Him. Embrace your red dot moment.
Live your life with joy and no regrets. When you’re
at work, be 100% at work. When you’re at
home, be 100% at home. And then leave the dirty
dishes in the sink once in awhile – its
okay! Get your family to help with the home responsibilities
and keep dating your husband (he’ll still
be there when the kids are gone). Finally, go
to the Spa every now and then – Mom’s
need pampering too! Remember, there is a “cloud
of witnesses” cheering you on – stop
and listen to them from time to time.
You all have heard me say many times we can learn
from the women who have walked before us. One
of the reasons I do the CWM Interview is so we
can learn from one another and be encouraged.
Karen has encouraged me many times throughout
my life and I hope she encouraged you as well.
On a side note, we really didn’t always
get along well as children. So, there is hope
that our children may one day get along.
I have been convicted recently of taking time
to bless my children. Often, we spend so much
time correcting or telling our children what needs
to be done. Take time each day to give your child
a compliment or bless them with God’s Word.
Till next time,
Kimberly M. Chastain
Kimberly M. Chastain, MS, LMFT is
the Christian Working Mom Coach and a Licensed
Marriage and Family Therapist. She is the author
of The Voices of Christian Working Moms, 2 ebooks
and an online Bible study. To find out how to
receive coaching tips by email daily, go to http://www.kimberlychastain.com/cwmtips.htm.
To find out more about her books go to www.christianworkingmom.com.
For a free, initial coaching session send an email
Released Book written by Author Kimberly Chastain