May 2010 CWM Interview
Welcome
Interview
Final Thoughts
Welcome

Hello everyone. We are counting down the days till the end of school. I’m amazed another school year has gone by. My babies are growing up. We have many new CWMs to our community. Welcome! You will only find support and encouragement here. Check on the links to the right to find ways you can be involved.

Do you wonder if you are the only CWM that feels the way you do? Then, check out my book The Voices of Christian Working Moms. Over 2,100 women answered a survey and you will find the results in the book. You can buy the book by clicking on Voices button on the right. We continue to receive surveys by CWMs and are probably over 2300 by now.

We have a very special person being interviewed this month (all of you are dear sisters in Christ). The interview this month is by my sister, who is younger than me, but has been parenting longer than me. She is my best friend and truly has a lot of wisdom to share. I appreciate Karen taking time out of her busy schedule, since her youngest is graduating from high school the day after your receive this interview.

Interview

Karen is a married 44 year old CWM who lives in the United States. She has two daughters ages 22 and 18. Karen is a Senior Operations Manager at Fidelity Investments.

Karen shares the following joys of being a CWM: Now that I’m almost through with active parenting and can rest and look back, I LOVED being a Mom. No, I didn’t get to be the Class Room Mother or up at school every day, but I did my share of field trips! I have asked myself, are my kids different because I was a working Mom? Absolutely. But worse? No, not at all. My girls are very independent and I have been able to share a work perspective that other Mothers have not been able to. I am thrilled for stay-at-home Moms and I encourage them to keep active and growing personally, their kids will leave some day. I am thrilled with Christian working Moms – you have two jobs and that can be very hard at times. If I had to do it all over and had no constraints, what would I have changed? I would have stayed home with them until school age and then gone back to work. Do I think they would have turned out any better? No, they are pretty great already. I would have done it for selfish reasons – for me. The biggest lesson I have learned is that we serve a Sovereign God who limits, orders, controls and knows all things (yes, He has a LOCK on your life!). My children are an amazing blessing – not because I worked, not because I was a Super Mom and could do it all – all because of Him. And that makes it all okay. Stay-at-home Moms must say the same thing. Our kids grow up well in spite of us. And sometimes they grow up, not following the Lord, and that’s not due to us either. Of course, we must give them every opportunity to draw near to the Lord, by teaching them as we come and go and by taking them to church regularly, but the rest is left up to God. Working or not working has nothing to do with it – so relax ladies and enjoy the journey…….the ride stops far sooner than you can possibly imagine.

List the struggles of being a Christian Working Mom: First, the word that keeps screaming in my mind is TIME!!!! There simply isn’t enough of it. When the girls were little, I felt so torn and divided. When I was at work, I didn’t feel like I was 100% because of things on my mind about home…….and when I was home, I struggled with shaking off all the responsibilities left at work. I promise you….this gets better as they get older….and you will get better at managing it. You must get help to manage your household responsibilities – it can simply be too much. It doesn’t have to be a paid housecleaner – engage your family. It’s good for them too! The Bible is clear that we are the managers of the home – it doesn’t say we have to DO everything ourselves. The whole family will benefit from sharing in the care of the home. Cut yourself some slack – so you go to bed with dishes in the sink, does it really matter? You only cook a “good” meal on the weekends – that’s okay too. Find a way to manage your time well. Secondly, live life with no regrets. The honest truth and we all know this, working Moms miss things. We don’t get to attend every single event and that’s okay too. Hearing what happened from their perspective is a good thing, rather than not really asking since you were there. Yes, sometimes it’s sad…..but don’t carry a bag on your back with all the regrets and every time you have a new one, open the sack to review them all and add the new one. Your perspective on being a working Mom will influence your children’s perspective on you being a working Mom. We can find Christian contentment in every circumstance – including being a working Mom. A good definition – Christian contentment is that sweet, inward, quiet, gracious frame of spirit which freely submits to and delights in God’s wise and loving control of every circumstance. Remember the mall signs with the red dots that say, “You are here”? Well, accept your red dot moment for what it is and watch God work amazing things through your acceptance.

Favorite Bible Verse: There are many but one I think is appropriate to remember here. “Come to Me, all who are weak and heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29.

What is God teaching you right now? I spent the last year really learning and embracing God’s sovereignty. I can say I get it now!! And it’s SO liberating. Yes, I am a recovering type A individual. Now, I am working on grace and the fact that I was chosen and had nothing to do with it at all.

Anything else you would like to share: How much time do you have? For those Mothers with young children, my heart goes out to you. I remember the weariness and guilt. I remember wrestling with my situation and desperately trying to find a way out, thinking that would satisfy the ache in my heart. Now, I’m almost to the end and wow – this is hard! My baby graduates this month. No doubt many tears to come over the next couple of months. Please hear me. Let go. Resolve to be content in whatever circumstance you are in now and let God take care of the rest. Please give it to Him. Embrace your red dot moment. Live your life with joy and no regrets. When you’re at work, be 100% at work. When you’re at home, be 100% at home. And then leave the dirty dishes in the sink once in awhile – its okay! Get your family to help with the home responsibilities and keep dating your husband (he’ll still be there when the kids are gone). Finally, go to the Spa every now and then – Mom’s need pampering too! Remember, there is a “cloud of witnesses” cheering you on – stop and listen to them from time to time.

You all have heard me say many times we can learn from the women who have walked before us. One of the reasons I do the CWM Interview is so we can learn from one another and be encouraged. Karen has encouraged me many times throughout my life and I hope she encouraged you as well. On a side note, we really didn’t always get along well as children. So, there is hope that our children may one day get along.

Final Thoughts

I have been convicted recently of taking time to bless my children. Often, we spend so much time correcting or telling our children what needs to be done. Take time each day to give your child a compliment or bless them with God’s Word.

Till next time,

Kimberly M. Chastain

Kimberly M. Chastain, MS, LMFT is the Christian Working Mom Coach and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She is the author of The Voices of Christian Working Moms, 2 ebooks and an online Bible study. To find out how to receive coaching tips by email daily, go to http://www.kimberlychastain.com/cwmtips.htm. To find out more about her books go to www.christianworkingmom.com. For a free, initial coaching session send an email to free@kimberlychastain.com.

Newly Released Book written by Author Kimberly Chastain

The Voices of Christian Working Moms