October 2013 CWM Interview
Welcome
Interview
Final Thoughts


 

The Voices of Christian Working Moms

Newly Released Book
written by
Author Kimberly Chastain

Welcome

Halloween is upon us. My children are now too old to dress up, but we will have lots of children visit our house. My true confession, I only buy candy I really like so any that is left over I get to eat. Also, I don’t buy candy too early or I will eat most of it. When you eat little candy bars they don’t count as much, right?! Hope your children have fun whether you celebrate at a Fall Festival at church, in your neighborhood, or not at all. We often give out a Gospel of John to each child that comes to our home with candy as well. It is a great way to share the gospel.

Interview

Malene is a married 33 year old CWM who lives in the United States. She has a son age 6 ½, a daughter age 5, and a 14 month old son. Malene is a registered nurse and also a graduate student in Nurse Anesthesia.

Listen to Malene describe her joys of being a Christian Working Mom:

For the most part I really cherish the time I have with my children and I think some of that is due to the mere fact that I’m not with them all the time. I also really do enjoy what I do. It’s hard to be away from the kids, especially when they are little, but I’m thankful to be doing something I love. I love working with patients and right now I’m learning how to provide anesthesia for patients undergoing surgery. It’s a privilege to be a part of someone’s life during such an intense time. I try to see that as an opportunity to be a blessing to someone and to use what I have been given to “love my neighbor”.

Malene struggles as a Christian Working Mom:

Especially when my children have been little, I have really struggled with working. I would have rather been with them, to be honest! I have worked in a variety of capacities since becoming a mother almost 7 years ago and by far the hardest seasons have been when I have been working more hours. And for me, work didn’t always feel like a “choice”. My husband and I have been married for 10 years now and for five years he was in seminary. That meant my income was the only income our family had for a good chunk of our married life and our early parenting years. That was hard—on me, on my husband, and on our marriage. I also struggle some with isolation. Work can make life busy enough that any “free time” is spent with your children, eliminating any margin for time with friends or peers. It can be easy to feel like a failure or like I’m “doing it wrong” if I compare myself to my stay-at-home-mom counterparts. And sadly, it is out of those feelings that resentment can grow.

Favorite Bible Verse:

“And in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose” Romans 8:28

What is God teaching you right now?

To love Him. To love my life as it is, not as I wish it was. He’s teaching me that while there are plenty of things I don’t have a choice about, I do have a choice to choose love over hate, to choose grace over legalism, to choose forgiveness and understanding over resentment. I’m learning to cherish the days and the seasons in my children’s lives because they pass. I wasted a lot of time in my early marriage resenting my husband and blaming him that I “had to work”. That was such an ugly way to spend family life. I went to a great Christian counselor and worked through a lot. Today I am thankful to say that while marriage is hard, I love being married to the man I am married to. I choose to love and forgive him and he does likewise. That has a huge effect on my motherhood. I am blessed.

Words of Encouragement for other Christian Working Moms

If you are really struggling with some of this stuff, find a good Christian counselor to work through these issues with you. Take ownership of your life, your situation. Don’t be a victim. Choose to love and forgive yourself, your spouse if you are married, and your children. Cling to God. He will never leave you or forsake you.

Anything else you would like to share:

I’m not quite sure who the audience is reading this newsletter, but a big “turning point” for me in how I viewed my role as a mother was when I worked in a large hospital in NYC. I was a young mother, I had 2 children under 3, and I didn’t want to be there. I wanted to be home with my children. Subsequently, I was often the only American-born nurse working on the unit where I was employed. I worked with nurses from all over the world—Haiti, the Philippines, etc. Many of these nurses were also mothers and they were thrilled to be in America and to have a good job with benefits that they could provide for their children. They didn’t seem to struggle with the discontent I did. They were positive and thankful. I learned a lot from them. My husband called my discontent a “first world problem” and he was right. I am so encouraged by all of you out there and pray you are encouraged by my story. Love and God’s blessing to you all!

Wow, Malene you gave us some great advice. Especially about choices. Often we don’t feel we have a choice and we always have a choice in our attitude. Also, the CWM newsletter goes all over the world. Your husband was right on when he shared the discontent was a “first world problem”. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing your joys and struggles.

Final Thoughts

You may not realize it, but your daughters and sons are watching how you manage the work and home balance. One day they will be taking cues from you on what they will do when they are adults. Show them that God is in control even when it doesn’t feel that way and that He is faithful.

Till next time,

Kimberly M. Chastain

Kimberly M. Chastain, MS, LMFT is the Christian Working Mom Coach and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She is the author of The Voices of Christian Working Moms, 2 ebooks and an online Bible study. To find out how to receive coaching tips by email daily, go to http://www.kimberlychastain.com/cwmtips.htm. To find out more about her books go to www.christianworkingmom.com. For a free, initial coaching session send an email to free@kimberlychastain.com.